


Curse

by Uncomfortable Duck (ScreamingJuiceBox)



Category: Black Mirror (TV), Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 07:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17596637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScreamingJuiceBox/pseuds/Uncomfortable%20Duck
Summary: Every timeline with Bandersnatch is a curse





	Curse

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 30 minutes at midnight and haven’t had anyone read it, so I hope y’all enjoy!

It takes Colin about 10 realities to realize that, yes, he is being forced into new yet familiar timelines every time he dies but, no, it’s not a curse. Just a series of new opportunities. New timelines to try new things.

It takes Colin about 20 realities for it to sink in that he and Kitty are the only two that remember what’s happened. On what must have been his 17th go around, the ever distressed Kitty had come to him sobbing. She told him no one remembered their past lives, and took comfort in knowing that Colin did. So they vowed to meet every timeline they could to figure out why this was happening. Partners in time. Colin had hope that Kitty remembering meant others did too. But no one did. Or at least, no one that mattered. Not Stefan.

Every timeline had its own variations. Sometimes past friends were there, sometimes they weren’t. Sometimes he was a programmer, sometimes he wasn’t. But there was always one consistency. Stefan.

Every iteration Colin had been through, Stefan was there too. Through hundreds of realities, Colin had tried and failed to make Stefan remember him. So of course, when a bright eyed, curly haired boy comes in to announce his new game, Colin is surprised when he recognizes him.

“I know you!” Stefan’s ever quiet voice rises, “you’re Colin Ritman!”

Colin’s heart soars and he makes to stand up and greet his lost friend, but then Stefan finishes his excited greeting. “I’ve played like, all of your games.” 

Oh, Colin remembers, I’m a famous programmer in this reality. Of course he knows who I am. 

But nonetheless, Colin stands and hugs Stefan a bit too tight and they start their timeline. 

 

Unfortunately, it’s one with Bandersnatch.

With a light behind his eyes, Stefan explains to Colin a game he’s already heard about 124 times. A choice based game where each choice leads to a different path, a unique ending. And Colin smiles and nods, fearing the timeline ahead.

In every reality in which the two meet via Bandersnatch, horrible things happen. Stefan either goes to jail, dies much too young, or becomes so engulfed in his work he loses his mind. In exactly 6 of the instances, he and Colin fell in love.

So, Colin sits back and watches. He’s ecstatic when Stefan shows up on his door step, begging for advice on his game. He’s even happier when Stefan gets a bit too high and kisses him. It’s a feeling all too familiar from past realities, and yet Colin is always giddy to receive that first kiss. He tries to hold onto it, knowing that with the game looming over them, this happy moment won’t last long. 

That night, high on Stefan’s smile and a bit of acid, Colin tells the other boy about timelines. He knows it’s a futile attempt, but still he tells Stefan that he’s met him before and he’ll meet him again. He tells him that, they must be soulmates, because they meet in every single timeline. Stefan nods like it makes sense but Colin knows he doesn’t believe a word coming out of his mouth.

And then, the curse of Bandersnatch takes over. As the weeks go by, Stefan comes over less and less until he stops coming altogether. For about a week, he answers Colin’s relentless phone calls, but then those are taken away too. Colin knows that Stefan is either going crazy in his room or he’s done something illegal, so he decides to check on the younger boy.

When Stefan answers the door, he’s covered in blood. He’s shaking and holding a knife and behind him, Colin can see Stefan’s father dead on the floor. Colin takes a look at the knife in Stefan’s hand and says after a long silence, “so are you gonna stab me, or...”

Stefan immediately drops the weapon and collapses into Colin’s arms, a sobbing mess. Colin runs his fingers through Stefan’s curls and slowly lead them inside, closing the door.

“Stefan,” he speaks quietly, “it’s okay.”

Stefan looks up at his idol, looking a complete mess. “What do I do, Colin? Timelines. You talked about timelines.” Stefan is pulling away and speaking fast and Colin doesn’t like what’s happening.

“If I die, it just starts a new timeline right? One where my dad’s okay and I can make good choices.” Stefan is walking towards his abandoned weapon and everything in Colin wants to grab him, but he is grounded.

“It doesn’t work like that, Stefan.” Colin tries, “you won’t remember any of this. You’ve done this before, you’ll probably do it again.” Colin has seen every timeline, knows every outcome, has seen every scene again and again. He can’t be surprised.

He thinks, at least. But then Stefan is grabbing his knife and there’s a loud crunch as it enters his rib cage and Colin doesn’t know if the scream he hears is Stefan’s one of pain or his own of emotional agony. Colin is cradling a bleeding Stefan and trying to remain calm, remind himself that he’ll see Stefan again soon. He laughs, placing a gentle kiss on Stefan’s forehead. “You’ve always found new ways to surprise me, Butler.”

He doesn’t call an ambulance, just sits there in a melancholy filled silence and Stefan coughs and pants and panics in his arms. And as he feels Stefan’s breathing become shallower and shallower, he closes his eyes and prays for a new, Bandersnatch free reality.

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t be afraid to give me feedback on what you like and what I can improve


End file.
